The Power of Forgiveness for Kids: Lessons from Radical Ray

Hi everyone!

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from both my own life and through the journey of Radical Ray, it’s that forgiveness is a superpower. Not the kind with capes and flying (though that would be handy), but the quiet, inner strength that helps us move forward when life feels a bit sticky.

When I was writing Radical Ray, I knew I wanted to explore forgiveness - not just as a concept, but as a practical tool that kids (and let’s be honest, adults too) can use when life throws them a curveball. Forgiveness is at the heart of one of my favorite chapters, 'Forgiving Dad,' where Ray learns how to forgive his dad, even if their relationship might not change.

I remember when my girls were young, and we’d have some tough conversations. You know, the ones where you’re trying to explain why sometimes people hurt us and why holding onto that hurt can feel like clutching a prickly cactus. (I mean, who wants to do that?) Instead, I’d tell them, ‘Forgiveness is like letting go of that cactus. You don’t have to hug it, but you also don’t need to carry it around in your backpack all day.’

In Radical Ray, Grandma Leila introduces this idea to Ray in a way he can understand. She helps him see that forgiveness isn’t about saying what happened was okay - it’s about choosing to feel lighter, to let go of the burden. Through Ray’s story, kids can see that forgiving someone doesn’t mean the situation is magically fixed, but it does mean they get to reclaim their own peace.

How to Talk About Forgiveness with Kids

When it comes to teaching kids about forgiveness, here are a few ideas that might help:

• Make It Visual: Use a simple analogy, like the prickly cactus or a heavy backpack, to show how holding onto hurt weighs us down.

  
  

• Model Forgiveness: Share your own stories (the age-appropriate ones!) of when you chose to forgive, and how it made you feel.

  
  

• Practice Empathy: Encourage kids to think about what the other person might be going through - not to excuse the behavior, but to build understanding.

  
  

• Celebrate Small Wins: When your child forgives, even in small ways, acknowledge their strength and bravery.

  
  

Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most powerful gifts we can give ourselves. When we teach our kids this skill early on, we’re helping them build resilience and an open heart - the kind that sees the world not just as it is, but as it could be.

And if you need me, I’ll be here practicing forgiveness… mostly with my coffee machine for not being fast enough. You know, because I’m a menopausal 50-something whose brain thinks 2 a.m. is the perfect time to start the day. 😉

Love, Bobbi x

Get the Radical Ray book here!